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I'm living with a workaholic, what should I do?
Living with a workaholic is a tough situation! My wife and I have dealt with this throughout our married life since I work long days and often work on the weekends. We have found four main principles that help us cope:
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We always talk about what my work schedule will be prior to me taking a position or project. We both agree on whether more hours are worth the advancement and better pay.
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We set boundaries. We each communicate on what our expectations are.
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We create an atmosphere of understanding and sensitivity. A biblical proverb says, “Learn to be wise and develop good judgment.” Understanding and good communication is vital to living with a workaholic. My wife understands and appreciates the essence of my work and how work is fulfilling and meaningful to me. I need to understand her needs as well. If I sense that she needs more time with me, we plan a time to do something special together.
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We listen to each other very carefully. James 1:19-20 says, My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Anger can never make things right in God's sight.”
Sit down together as a couple and discuss the following question.
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Does the worker find fulfillment in his/her work? What is the workaholic’s motive, what drives him/her?
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Was the workaholic like this before marriage? Has it escalated recently?
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Are there any financial reasons (debt, maintaining a certain lifestyle) contributing to the problem?
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Can the needs of the home be met with less hours at work?
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What expectations of a lifestyle do you have? Is this a motivating factor?
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Is the home peaceful and relaxing? Or is strife, angry, and contention prevalent? Do any of these un-welcoming factors contribute to the worker staying away from home?
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What boundaries can you both agree upon?
Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes that it is a blessing from God for us to enjoy work: “So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that this pleasure is from the hand of God” (Ecclesiastes 2:24).
Workaholics - Learn More!
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