Children Coping With Divorce

QUESTION: Where do children coping with divorce find help?

ANSWER:

Divorce takes its toll on a family, but by far the worst victims of divorce are the children. In any divorce, children coping with divorce usually have no say in the matter and can suffer from many types of emotional problems. That is why it is very important to find as soon as possible.

Help from Friends - One thing that helped me cope with divorce as a child was being able to talk to my friends. I had a couple of friends whose parents were separated or divorced. They helped me to understand that it was not my fault and that it was also not the end of the world. My friends gave me assurance that life as I knew it would go on.

The thing to remember about talking to friends is that they must not be the only source of comfort and normalcy; there comes a time when children coping with divorce must start to talk to others about what they are feeling. It is never a good idea to bottle up questions or frustrations. Finding an outlet other than a friend is imperative in the healing process.

Help from parents - I only listed parents second because I know from experience that it is hard for children coping with divorce to seek help from their parents when the parents seem to be the very source of discomfort. The problem is that sometimes children need their parents to explain things to help better understand why divorce is happening. So if you are a child who feels caught in the middle, do not be afraid to approach your parents and ask them for help in understanding why they are divorcing and to quell your fears of being the cause of the divorce.

Help from your church - Sometimes it is easier for children coping with divorce to get stuff off their chest by talking to someone who is not emotionally involved. One available source for impartiality is the local church, where children and adults alike can seek counsel from a pastor or youth pastor. Pastors are trained not only to teach from the Bible, but also to help people work through problems. They are also good listeners, which helps in those times when a person just wants someone to listen. I know from experience those times will come.

Help from other professionals - Counseling is one place where children coping with divorce can find help. Professional children's counselors can help a child work through and sort out emotions and fears. They can help children better understand what to expect from the changing structure of their family. They can also help the child find ways to accept the arrival of stepparents and siblings.

The good thing about counseling is that no one has to know about the sessions unless the child chooses to tell someone. Also, like the pastor, a counselor gives the child an opportunity to talk to an impartial party who has his or her best interests at heart. A counselor can also connect the child with a support group containing other children who are in the same situation. Support groups are good because they give children the peace of mind to know that they are not alone.

These are only a few ideas where children coping with divorce can find help. The main thing to remember is that if you are a child reading this or a parent of a child, you need to find a constructive outlet for emotions. It is important to talk and talk and talk. In the end, it helps you to find peace with the situation and to move on to live a normal life. It also helps you to get answers to all your questions. Children can cope with divorce if they are given the right outlets to express their feelings.