Dealing With Verbal Abuse

QUESTION: What are some tips for dealing with verbal abuse?

ANSWER:

Here are some tips for dealing with verbal abuse:

Remain calm and choose words carefully. A hurtful word becomes a destructive weapon, and our first reaction is to retaliate with hurtful words. Speaking good and uplifting words back in kind, will bring confusion to the abuser. The power of life and death is in the tongue. Breathe life-giving words.

Control your emotions. Do not lash back with more of the same emotions that are coming at you. React with wisdom, not with feelings.

Guard your heart. Do your best to not take the hurtful words personally.

Understand abuse. Verbal abuse makes a person feel unloved, unwanted, unnecessary, and unworthy. The abuser must destroy the person’s self-esteem to make them feel more powerful and in control. When in actuality, it is the abuser who is the insecure one. The abusive patterns are the abuser’s way of regaining security.

Concentrate on who you are to God.

• God created me (Psalm 130:13-18).
• I am not alone (Deuteronomy 31:6).
• I am loved by God (John 3:16)
• I am not afraid (2 Timothy 1:7)
• I can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13).

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise” (Philippians 4:8).