Empty Nester

QUESTION: Grief and the empty nester – Is grief a normal feeling when the kids leave home?

ANSWER:

When loss occurs in your life, it is normal to experience grief. As an empty nester, you have the loss of normal routine caused by the absence of a loved ones. Your life has been shaped by those around you and now they’re gone. When a child leaves, your every day events and responsibilities change from being a primary caregiver to a feeling of loss of purpose.

It is normal to grieve for the intimate times you shared while raising your children. You will sense that a house which has been filled with ringing phones and revolving doors will suddenly be very quiet.

Empty Nester – Practical Tips

• If your children are preparing to leave, make plans early. Discover things that you would like to do for yourself when you have more time. Don’t replace grief with guilt over your own desires for activities and interests.
  
  
• Confide in your spouse and tell him/her how you are feeling. Emotional support is very important during this time. Identifying and confessing the problem is the first step to healing the wounds of grief. Communication is very important.
  
  
• Remember, you aren’t alone. Most parents in your age group are experiencing some form of empty nest syndrome. Talk to each other over tea or coffee. Group discussion helps to ease the burden.
  
  
• Prayer and belief in God is the biggest help. It’s important to recognize that having an empty nest is part of God’s plan to grow your children into confident and independent adults. It also strengthens your maturity and provides the opportunity of new discoveries for your life without live-in children.

The grief felt in empty nest syndrome will take time to overcome. The first step is to identify the feeling. Then move on to talking and relating to others with the same grief.

Think of your empty nest as just another step on the stairway of your life adventure.