How To Say No

How to say no – Setting Boundaries
The best way to learn how to say no is by setting boundaries. A boundary is defined as something that indicates a limit. For example, “I will not commit to more than 2 nights away from my family per week.” A boundary in relationships is the line where we end and others begin. Our attitudes, emotions, actions, thoughts, desires, time, and resources all lie within our boundaries. These areas of our lives are under our control, not others. In order to be emotionally healthy and have healthy relationships, we need to set boundaries.

We need to set a limit whenever the actions or expectations of others violate our space, our freedom, or our boundary. We set a limit by saying “no.”

• Explain that you don’t feel led or compelled to help or participate.
• In some cases, doing something might make you uncomfortable and you need to express that.
• Explain the boundary you have set. Most people will respect your commitment.
• Be kind, but firm in your answer.

How to say no – Enforcing Boundaries
Setting boundaries is not for the weak of heart. In most cases, you will encounter opposition. That is why you need a support system to strengthen your new resolve. Your support system will remind you that setting boundaries is not selfish or mean. On the contrary, setting boundaries is a key element in loving relationships.

Boundaries produce health and freedom. As you become healthy, you become aware of areas where you don’t allow others the freedom they need. You will learn not only to say “no,” but to accept others ability to say “no” to you.