Recovering from Codependency

QUESTION: Recovering from codependency - How do I start?

ANSWER:

Recovery from codependency begins with recognizing the need for it. We wonder sometimes how we arrived at the situation that has caused us so much pain. We may even feel that it's too late or we may believe we don't deserve a better life. But neither of those is true. We may even feel that God has abandoned us and not heard our many heartfelt prayers. This is not true.

The line of thought in the above paragraph is a stumbling block to recovery. We must know first that we do have worth. We find our significance not in ourselves, but in a personal and real (not religious) relationship with God.

Support groups can also be very helpful. It has been observed that those readily accept the help of God find that their problems resolve themselves.

Somebody once said: "The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in how you use them." After existing in the trap of codependency, there is no denying the troubles, but we can begin to refuse to let them block our new path. And we have help! God loves us and will work on the situation in our behalf when we ask and honor Him. That is the next stepping stone to recovery.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." And in Micah 6:8 we are told: "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

When the problems we have to face seem beyond our endurance, we need not explain them to God; He already knows. We need not tell Him what we expect Him to do; He knows what is best for us. What we do need to do is simply ask Him for help; He wants to know that we want His help in our recovery. He wants us to say that we need Him and can't do it alone.

"All true prayer somehow confesses our absolute dependence on God. It is a vital contract with Him. It is when we pray truly, that we really are. From our prayers we receive light to apply. . .to our own problems and difficulties" (Thomas Merton: No Man Is an Island).