Signs Of Verbal Abuse

QUESTION: What are the signs of verbal abuse?

ANSWER:

The best way to recognize signs of verbal abuse in an unhealthy relationship is to know what a healthy relationship looks like. Think for a moment about the things we value in relationships. Things like respect, understanding, forgiveness, acceptance, love, affection, and trustworthiness with the ability to connect deeply with someone; yet have the freedom to be oneself within healthy boundaries. When we think about what constitutes a healthy relationship, it becomes easier to identify when we are in an unhealthy relationship.

Signs of verbal abuse exhibited by the abuser are:

• Actions of ignoring, ridiculing, disrespecting, and criticizing others consistently.
• A manipulation of words.
• Purposeful humiliation of others.
• Accusing others falsely for the purpose of manipulating a person’s decision making.
• Manipulating people to submit to undesirable behavior.
• Making others feel unwanted and unloved.
• Threatening to leave the family destitute.
• Placing the blame and cause of the abuse onto others.
• Isolating a person from some type of support system, consisting of friends or family.

One of the reasons verbal abuse is so harmful is because we learn a lot about ourselves in the context of relationships. If the people closest to us habitually belittle us and dismiss our feelings, we begin to see ourselves in insignificant ways. That is why awareness is a great first step in dealing with verbal abuse.

Once a person identifies and recognizes these signs of verbal abuse, the person can be proactive about finding help. If left too long of time in an abusive relationship, the person will start feeling hopeless. The good news is that there is hope! Hope stays alive by taking these helpful steps:

• Find a trusted friend, a support group, or a counselor to discuss the situation. A network of supportive relationships will strengthens and uplifts you.
• Learn about yourself and healthy relationships. It helps for making better choices.
• Know and remember that we are valuable to God. He meant for us to be in relationships that enhance our worth, brings out the best in us, and where we feel safely secure.