Singleness

QUESTION: Is singleness okay?

ANSWER:

Sometimes society lets on that if a person is single there is something fundamentally wrong with that individual. Singleness frequently goes against nature, because most people do not like to be alone. Singleness can involve many troubling emotions -- loneliness, pity, and fear.

David writes, “I wanted to evade the feeling of loneliness, but I was also dealing with another strong emotion -- fear. My parents divorced when I was seven, and I was afraid that if I were to marry, I would end up divorced and single. I did not want to go through that. My dad remarried twice more because he could not stand the fact of being single and being lonely. My mom never remarried; she made the choice not to. She wanted to be totally devoted to her children.

“Could I really love another? Could someone really love me? I struggled with this issue of love and I feared it! Bearing in mind the vows of marriage, could I or my spouse really fulfill them? What if something happened and the other person fell out of love me, or vice versa. With being single, I would not have to be concerned about marriage, love, and vows.

“Although I felt inadequate in this way, I also had feelings of envy and jealousy toward my married friends. I wondered what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t find my soul mate. I had a desire for sexual intimacy.

“Then I discovered what the Bible says about singleness. Paul describes singleness as an uncomplicated devotion to God -- a total devotion to Him. Another factor Paul discusses is sexual relations, and sexual relations are to only occur between a husband and wife. Sexual relations are given by God. In the Bible, Paul says, ‘I wish that all men were as I am [single]. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.’

“Are you struggling with believing there is something wrong with being single? Rest assured there is not! However, it does matter what you do with your singleness! A place to start begins with prayer. Ask God to give you contentment in your current circumstance. Next, examine your view of singleness. God wants your singleness, which is the pure unbridled devotion to Him, for His glory.”