Surviving Divorce

QUESTION: Surviving divorce - What's next?

ANSWER:

If you have experienced divorce, you may be struggling with surviving divorce. Your next step is to gain emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical healing. Successfully "moving on" with your life should begin with healing and forgiveness. These are equally important and crucial when children are involved.

Too often, we are dealing with guilt and/or harboring bitterness. Bitterness can grow and affect relationships with family, co-workers, or anyone in your future.

If not dealt with, bitterness can become unbearable baggage that we will lug around forever. Bitterness is an issue that God addresses in Hebrew 12:15: "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."

We tend to fight forgiveness due to hurt and anger. Whether we are struggling with forgiveness of our self, spouse, or others, we seem to be afraid that doing so will open (or reopen) the doors to a relationship we don't want to deal with. To continue in bitterness is self-destructive. "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13).

Restoration of marriage is almost always preferable. However, our own restoration is essential whether or not marital restoration is possible. We must afford ourselves quiet time. It is also important to spend time with supportive people.
When people are hurting, looking for answers, or trying to find their way, they tend to more readily turn to God for answers. We have all tried surviving our own way and we've messed up or failed. But God has the answers for everything, especially the next step. He is there to guide and protect us.

Those turning to God, who are willing to listen and actively seeking His direction, will find the peace and direction they have been seeking when coping with divorce. There is no other way to successfully proceed. In the most tumultuous situation, God can give us a peace beyond our human understanding. That peace allows clear, concise ability and insight towards what's next!