Christian Family Counseling

(Read Christian Family Counseling, Part 1 First)

Christian Family Counseling - Family Mission Statement Tips
Carve out time for your family each week - in advance. Put it on your calendar. Stop saying you have got to get 'one more thing done' before you leave for home. Plan your week with specific ending times and stick to them.

Jettison things from your schedule that aren't important. March to the mission that Jesus called you to, not the mission others want you to do for them. Be ruthless here! If your work situation requires constant excessive hours to get the job done, it's time to evaluate other ways to accomplish the task. You can't accomplish the mission of the organization single-handedly, so stop trying! Pray for the Lord to send workers into your harvest field and then sit back and watch Him go to work. Pray for supernatural results from the time you do put into your day, then go home and be a minister to the other mission field God gave to you - your family. If you're a leader of others, have people actually write into their job descriptions the need to be committed to their family and specifically how they will do this.

Develop an activity together with your family as a whole and/or with individual family members. Maybe it's hiking, a date at Denny's for breakfast on Saturday, or coffee with your spouse where you pray together for your day. As you do this, remember that those teachable moments are almost like 'intentional accidents;' they happen, but not always because you planned them. So be sure to plan large quantities of time throughout the year so they'll have a chance to occur.

Create a spiritual 'life development plan' for each of your kids, outlining their strengths, their areas for improvement and your plans to shape their character as they grow up under your care. Our children are arrows that are being sent to a world that we will never fully see. It's our job to shape them into arrows that will fly straight and travel the distance to the kingdom target that God has intended for them.

Schedule a date night of at least an hour once a week ... with each child and your spouse where you just focus on them. It doesn't have to be expensive -- time alone is the critical ingredient here. When our budget has been tight, I've had this time in my backyard with my son.

When you're traveling, send emails or postcards back to your family. Call them on the phone and pray with them in addition to chatting.
At the end of each day, ask your kids or spouse these three questions:

• "What happened today that you're proud of?"
• "What happened today that you wish you could do over?"
• "Where did you see God in your day today?"

Christian Family Counseling - Make Some Changes Now!
When I speak to men about being a dad at Christian family counseling seminars, I ask them to call out words that define the memory of their fathers. Many words that are called out are negative words -- words like, 'absent,' 'domineering,' and 'detached.' If your children were asked to call out words today that defined your parenting, or if your spouse was reviewing your life at your funeral service, what words would they use? If you're not happy with what words are echoing around in your head, it's time to make some changes in how you're leading your family. And by the way, if you're the man in your family, make sure you're not abdicating all the work of leading your family to your wife; the role of leadership is not designed to be shouldered solely by her. Get involved!

I love how Eugene Petersen in "The Message" puts it, "Exploit or abuse your family, and end up with a fistful of air...." (Proverbs 11:29).

When my work years have come to an end and the castles of my ministry stand tall and strong, I want to be holding more than air, don't you? Are you pleased with the investment you have made in building your family and your marriage so far? If the answer is no, why not turn off the computer right now and plan a few important dates with your kids and your spouse?

Grow More Now!